Dorky, gay, loser fangirls

I’m gonna give this a shot.

No, really. A legitimate shot this time.

Not like all the countless times in the past when I swore up and down, cross my heart, to persevere with maintaining a journal, only to lamely peter out with much begrudged and increasingly brief entries three days later at which point I unfailingly went, Resolution, what resolution?

But, o ho, this time, the circumstances are different. I’ve come to the realization that I have reached an impasse where I can no longer afford to delude myself of the inexorable truth. Oh, it’s a long story--one of excoriating self-exposition and of highs and low reached—but at the end, the one truth rings loud and clear.

Quite plainly and simply, I’m a loser fangirl.

A dorky, gay, loser fangirl. Yes, that. And no amount of denial’s gonna change it. It’s so much bigger than me. And I’m certainly not getting any younger, so I might as well succumb to the dark callings of fandom with grace.

Which leads me to my second point. Fangirling can be a terribly isolating experience, done furtively, feverishly in the late hours of the night while your girlfriend’s sleeping. Waiting tick after tick of the secondhand to be alone so you can scour the web for fanfics and fanvids without your friends passing judgment… Or even on the internet, you feel like you’re the only one who sees the subtext between those characters on that show (i mean, cmon, really--how could they be so blind?).

No? Just sad, little me? Well, be that as it may, I nonetheless relish chancing upon voices like myself. Others who share the same likes. And it gives me no little pleasure to find that I'm not quite so alone after all.

So I begin this blog because first and foremost, it’s entirely possible I might combust without an outlet for my fangirling; and second, my fangirl interests are not always widely shared or acknowledged by others, so I hope by blogging about it, I can share my fangirl glee with others. :)

An alternative blog for dorky, gay, loser fangirls. Like myself.

And damn right, I reappropriated the shit out of 'loser' in loser fangirl.